In my next life, make me a man

I decided that I want to be a man in my next life. Not that I don't appreciate all the perks of womanhood. Child birth, breast feeding - just to name a few!

But it seems that men are pre-wired differently than a woman.
* They do not wake when they hear a crying baby - much less their own crying baby.
* They are not awaken by their preschooler whining in the hallway in the dark of night to be tucked back into bed after a midnight potty trip.
* They appear inept at running a washing machine, much less separating clothes and initiating such a task.
* They do not appear to know where their children's clothes go - after they are magically washed and before they are worn.
* They do not know how to decide on dinner when it is merely breakfast time.
* They are not able to buy cards, even for their own family.
* They have lost the ability to sign a card, even if it is for his family.
* Forget about Christmas cards. Someone else will handle the pictures, the format, the letter, etc. It must magically happen like everything else.
* They lose the ability to pick up after oneself. Dirty dishes are left steps from the sink. Underwear are found in the living room - or maybe just the bathroom.

I am sold. In my next life I am putting my request in now to be a man. All I have to do it outdoor maintenance, take the cars in for oil changes and watch sports. ~ maybe even while scratching myself and drinking beer.